31679

Joke of the Day

"A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face This is the punch line"

"I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world."

"So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy""... Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan."

"What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic"

"I just got a PhD My penis enlargement operation went well. Now I am proud to have a Pretty huge Dick."

"Why did Simba's father die? Because he couldn't Mufasa."

"During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair."

"A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem... The redhead says ""why don't you give him head and shoulders."" The blonde replies ""how do you give shoulders?"""

"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball."