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Joke of the Day

"During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair."

"lol i'm kind of a total geek weirdo, im really into starwars, the most successful international action film franchise of all time"

"Knock Knock..."

"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."

"The EU is like a box of chocolates; Nobody likes the Turkish."

"You can tell that Donald Trump isn't Amish ...because he is terrible at building a Cabinet."

"Why is the network engineer sad? Because his career is in bits."

"What do you call deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea."

"*Aquarium GUIDE: Octopuses are sensitive to camera flash so please turn off...ma'am don't flash the octopus ME: [pulls shirt back down] ok"

"What idiot called it ""salad"" and not ""la sad"""