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Joke of the Day
"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? ...Christopher Walken"
Next Joke
"ME: *looks up from tarot card* So is Death laughing at a smoldering corpse a good thing? PSYCHIC: *wide-eyed* At this point, I don't know."
"Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend?"
"What was King Arthur's favourite game? Knights and crosses!"
"Everyone in LA is so hot and I am so not that when I walk into places they think I'm a dog and they give me treats & water never been better"
"Wanna hear a funny joke? Woman's rights. Sorry for the sexism here, but i saw this and laughed my head clean off"
"Your posts make me wish I couldn't read."
"My tacos are ready. Please check my Instagram to see 16 photos of them."
"Karate classes... Because breaking boards on your head is all cool and shit if a House ever starts attacking you."
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."