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Joke of the Day

"What was King Arthur's favourite game? Knights and crosses!"

"Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them."

"How much did Juan weigh after eating Chinese food? Juan ton"

"How do we know hamburgers have high IQ's? They 'loin' fast!"

"Apparently my neighbor down the hall doesn't watch porn. She came over 20 minutes ago asking I could fix her sink and I'm still fixing it."

"The ""we're going to need a bigger boat"" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store."

"What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get? A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week"

"My doctor gave me a prostate exam this morning... ...I really need to find a new dentist"

"[nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? ""Yes of course we do!"" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*"

"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""