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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Why call him? He ain't coming!"

"An app to tase restaurant owners who call appetizers ""apps"""

"The economy is so bad...."

"I was walking in a cemetery this morning and I saw a guy hiding behind a gravestone. I said ""morning."" He replied, ""No, just having a shit."""

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes..... ...that way when you criticize them you are a mile away, and have their shoes."

"A black third grader goes up to his mom and says: ""Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade, is it because i'm black?"" ""No."" She replies. ""It's because you're 19."""

"Why do North Korean statesmen make for bad lovers? Because they won't hold a public erection."

"I saw a sign today about lost cat Missing cat: Wanted dead and alive If found return to Schrodinger"

"""911 what's your emergency"" IM DYING ""what happened"" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES ""lol pics or didn't happen"""

"A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they're naughty."