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Joke of the Day

"State trash talk thread Insult your fellow state"

"I turned into a cat earlier Don't ask meow"

"My GF was triggered when I chased the big black birds away from my bird feeder because what I wanted to see was tits. She said it was my crow aggression."

"I hate double-standards; when my girlfriend puts on a pair of puppy-dog eyes, it's ""cute"", but when I do it... Everyone is just ""Oh god Mercury what the fuck did you do that puppy?!"""

"I can't wait for the season finale of... ...America."

"What do you call a wanderin' nun? A Roamin' Catholic"

"My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn."

"The only thing I'd like for you to say behind my back is ""Do you like that?"""

"What did the shower say to the toilet? ""You may get more ass than I do, but look at all the shit you have to take""."

"What do you call a cat with 3 legs? A handicat"