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Joke of the Day

"What kind of flour is independent? Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat."

"Technically... It's only illegal when you get arrested."

"My running tights are giving me a mean camel toe. I'm going to wear my ""Mind the Gap"" t-shirt to the gym"

"Three men brought four cigarettes onto a boat, but then realized they had no lighters or matches. What do they do? Throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

"What's the best vegetable to bring to a party? Stephen Hawking"

"If jerk chicken could talk, what would it say? ""Fuck-ooooff, fuck-ooooff, FUCK-OFF!!!"""

"I'm opening a restaurant called ""It doesn't matter, whatever you want"" since every girl alive wants guys to take them there."

"Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence? There was a lot of reposting to do"

"I froze some paint today. Now it's just one solid color."

"Why do japanese have small eye slits? because nuclear explosions are so fucking bright. (i'm going to hell for this)"