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Joke of the Day

"Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor! My son John swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!"

Next Joke
 
"Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school"
"50 Cent released an album in Zimbabwe You probably haven't heard of it, because he debuted under the name ""Million Dollar Man"""
"I just got a PhD My penis enlargement operation went well. Now I am proud to have a Pretty huge Dick."
"A SEO expert walks into a bar Bar, bars, pub, lounge, restaurant, beer garden, nightclub, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, beer, wine, whisky"
"I realize I put this off but how much weight can I lose in 2 hours?"
"Did I tell you I'm joining a gym in Gainesborough? Because I'm all about those gains bro"
"Which side of the goose has the most feathers? The outside"
"What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths? A running gag."
"Q: how can you tell it is almost St. Patrick's day? A: Everyone is taking out their Paddy-o furniture."