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Joke of the Day

"Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor! My son John swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!"

"(NSWF) Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny? He heard little boys pants were 50% off..."

"My wife was gang raped by a troupe of mimes.... They performed unspeakable acts on her."

"I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of"

"Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas? Heath Ledger."

"Why dont guys like working in the rain? Because only pussys get wet."

"Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder."

"It was definitely Adam and Steve - what kind of straight man hangs out in a garden??"

"M.C. Escher goes into an ou so s W."

"I'm making a horror film where a sadistic snowman sets death traps for other snowmen and they have to melt bits of themselves to escape.It's called Thaw."