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Joke of the Day

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""And you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

Next Joke
 
"If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times."
"A Reddit mod deleting their account during controversy and creating a new one is like... the Reddit CEO"
"So two muffins are in an oven... One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Boy! It is getting hot in here!"" The other muffin replies, ""WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HEAR US SCREAM"""
"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."
"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"
"How do you get certified as an interior decorator? You don't pull out"
"A world without women would be a pain in the ass!!! ... If you don't get it... you don't deserve to."
"Germany used to have a large French speaking region. It was called France"
"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"