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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"

"Why are Dutch people so tall? The short ones drowned in the floods"

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch."

"What do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling."

"[girlfriend talking to me but I can't hear her over crunch of my cereal] ""I think we should see other people"" Yeah sure thing, babe"

"They found a new cure for pedophiles: they turn them into dyslexics... #... so they go around looking for [Pop Tarts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism)."

"What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama."

"Why's the sink depressed? It's been feeling drained"