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Joke of the Day

"Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich."

"KENNEDY: lets keep our affair a secret MARILYN MONROE: ok i'll sing happy birthday all sexy & weird at ur bday K: pls dont MM: *winking* ok"

"Why is it better to hire fifty $20 hookers rather than a single $1000 escort? More poorgasms"

"""I love my cable company! Their customer service and pricing can't be beat! I'm glad I have no other options!"" said no one ever."

"What do you call an astronaut who loves himself? A NASAccist!"

"Q: What do you have with Dick Cheney, Dick Morris, and Dick Nixon in the same room? NSFW A: Way too much cock and bull."

"Do you want to know how to keep a dummy intrigued? I'll tweet it tomorrow."

"me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived"

"Create your own Bermuda Triangle! Just surround yourself with a wife & two kids, then watch all your hopes & dreams mysteriously disappear!"

"They ran out of bread at the Indian restaurant, but it turned out nobody cared. It was a naan issue."