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Joke of the Day

"I quit a job re-writing pre-classical Greek literature into braille. This was months ago. It feels like ancient history."

Next Joke
 
"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."
"I like my exes suicides how I like my whiskey On the rocks."
"DAUGHTER: why did you name me Paris? ME: You were conceived on our honeymoon in Paris SON: OMG!! ME: (to son) what's wrong 97FordF150?"
"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints."
"My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on."
"You have orgasms all the time. Even if you don't have sex, I know you masturbate. You're a liar if you say you don't. Sexy"
"Why doesn't Jesus play volleyball? All those spikes hurt his hands"
"I, for one, like Roman numerals"
"I don't care about heaven when I die I just want to know which words I used the most and how many bears I unknowingly walked by &other stats"
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