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Joke of the Day

"DAUGHTER: why did you name me Paris? ME: You were conceived on our honeymoon in Paris SON: OMG!! ME: (to son) what's wrong 97FordF150?"

"If you skip church on Sundays.. You're pulling a Christian Bale."

"An Irishman applies to a job at a Blacksmiths ""Have you any experience at shoeing horses?"" asks the Blacksmith ""No"" says the Irishman ""but i once told a donkey to fuck off"""

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to be in a movie about famous musical composers... He responded ""I'll be Bach"""

"East and West Germany In West Germany your job determines your Marks. In East Germany Marx determines your job."

"My One A Day multivitamins actually have directions on the bottle - ""Take one multivitamin daily."" Hmmm"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"If it's one thing I hate, it's an Indian-giver... No, I take that back."

"A toothless termite walks into a bar and asks... ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"Why are so many racist jokes about black people? Because black people can't read. Duh. I'll show myself out."