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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass? Beer X-post from /r/imsmartandthisisfunny"

"A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by."

"So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?"

"A Trump Irony How is Trump going to keep immigrants out if he can't keep protesters from crashing his rally?"

"Thanks to ringtones, I now associate all my favorite songs with the annoyance and dread of being interrupted and having to talk to somebody."

"Someone told me recently that the healthcare.gov website was built by a Canadian company. I guess that explains why the site is constantly freezing."

"A Roman gladiator walks into a bar... ...and holds up two fingers. ""Give me five beers, please."""

"Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"What beer does Sean Connery drink? Grols"

"Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails."