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Joke of the Day

"It's impossible to stick out your tongue and roll your eyes up at the same time ...without looking like an idiot."

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"*overeats sugar* *gets diabetes* *gets limbs amputated* *can finally smile authentically in pics now that not worried what to do with hands*"

"What's the difference between a urologist and an anesthesiologist? An urologist plays with somebody else's penis during surgery."

"What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do? Circuit training."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman... I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ""Where's the self-help section?"" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"Why did the Hippy Drown? he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn"

"I have patio furniture in the friend zone."

"5 penises A man visits his doctor and tells him, ""You've got to help me doc. I've got 5 penises!"" To which the doctor replies, ""5 penises! How do your pants fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"Just heard Kim Kardashian's new song. All I'm going to say is that, for as many black dudes as she bangs, I expected more."