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Joke of the Day

"Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise."

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"A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME AGE ADDRESS etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ''Yes.''"
"What do you call a mean dust storm? Darude - Sandstorm"
"What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer."
"What is a collie puppy's favorite toy? A chew-chew train!"
"People say his actions move people to tears. well I wasn't aware he was rapist."
"'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman' 'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'"
"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."
"Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing? He was striking a happy medium."
"Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse."