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Joke of the Day

"'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman' 'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'"

"Q: What does a proud computer call his little son? A: A microchip off the old block."

"""I have a hunch."" - Inspector Quasimodo"

"Two Bass Drums and A Cymbal Fall Off the Roof. Buh-dum tssh"

"What do you do after raping a deaf girl? Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone."

"After sex, a girl once told me I had a small penis. She was cool, though. She never told any of her friends... She never told anyone. Anything. Ever. Again."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef strokin' off."

"What is the worst part of eating vegetables? The wheelchairs."

"I love my dog. He's a real son-of-a-bitch."

"I accidentally took a woman's multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat"