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Joke of the Day

"People say his actions move people to tears. well I wasn't aware he was rapist."

"What idiot called it synthetic cannabis instead of Crock Pot?"

"""I gave that guys wife a pearl necklace"" -Oysters"

"Sorry I haven't tweeted much. Kathy on facebook was keeping us updated on her menstrual cramps."

"Don't mind me, just another pirate joke passing though What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it was arr, but actually it's the sea."

"Oh, you used ""whom"" in casual conversation. Well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of William Fucking Shakespeare."

"Cashier: Your total is $2,334.00. Me: Can you take off the avocado? Cashier: Okay, that will be $2.00."

"Ah ? ha ? ha ? ha ? stayin' alive, stayin alive ? ? ? ?."

"no idea! I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have no idea!"

"Grammar The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."