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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing? He was striking a happy medium."

"What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles"

"What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a farmer? A farmer shucks between fits."

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"A koala is sitting in a bar.. I chopped him up and put him in there. I couldn't make him fit as a whole."

"Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons? They're made out of dill dough."

"What do women and penny stocks have in common? If you hold on to them too long instead of pumping and dumping them, you'll lose all your shit."

"Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father ""Pop what's a millennium?"" ""Well"" he muttered ""I think it's something like a centennial only it has more legs!"""

"Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"

"Why do men scratch their balls? Because they are test-itch-els!"