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Joke of the Day

"You can get out of jury duty on the first day by blatantly winking at the defendant as you give them a double thumbs up."

Next Joke
 
"Hey I got your text but then I died, I'll probably like resurrect when we accidentally run into each other though"
"What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down!"
"how do you get 100 babies in a trash can? blender!... how do you get them back out? ... doritos!"
"boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s"
"Hell yeah I'm a catholic i've been addicted to cats my whole life"
"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."
"""You know, I'm doomed to get eternal damnation to the Hell"" said Edward Cullen. -- Because you are a vampire, creature of Night and Darkness? -- No, because I'm an atheist."
"What did the chinese pirate say? Awwlllll!"
"What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her? I may be a two but your an eight.."
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