65929

Joke of the Day

"Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull."

"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."

"Nazis and the great depression, I get it, Grandpa. But did you have to hear the word 'selfie' every fucking day? Did you?!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...with extra large cups."

"I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas"

"I was woken up today by a tap on my door Odd sense of humor my plummer has."

"Mickey is getting a divorce ""mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was...... extremely silly?"" ""no, i said she was fucking goofy"""

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None."

"Roses are red, violets are blue...valentine's crap is over now don't you have some ironing to do"

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift"