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Joke of the Day

"It's almost as if they don't know the first rule of carrying rolls of wrapping paper club is; always be prepared for a sword fight, officer."

"What do you call a family of 8 rabbits? One rabbyte"

"Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders? Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty"

"Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves."

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."

"I just saw a pregnant woman I'd like to make double-pregnant."

"*Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA"

"What's a clowns favorite thing to do? Children"

"What kind of bees make milk, not honey? Boo(bees)"

"There's only one downside of putting a woman on the $20 bill. That downside is that the $20 bill is now only worth $15.66"