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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a loaf of bread and a penguin? ""I don't know what?"" ""We're sure not sending you to the store!"""

"""Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds"" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth"

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. . A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday..."

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"ppl: are u sick? me: no, im just ugly"

"Somebody asked me what a spoonerism was.... I haven't got a cooking flue."

"All women want to be swept off their feet, until you push them into the sea. Dating is hard!"

"Decaf only works if you throw it on people."

"My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack."

"What did one tonsil say to the other? Get dressed a doctor is taking us out to night."