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Joke of the Day

"When someone tells me that they have no life I usually respond with this... Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start"

"Muslims are boycotting Delta... Now making Delta the safest airline"

"BOSS: I don't know if you're the right man for the job BAKER: NO PLEASE *holds up dough* I KNEAD THIS"

"What's the difference between a midget and black people? A midget is a small problem. Black people are a huge problem."

"I never thought I'd love my family more than my Xbox 360, and it turned out I was right."

"JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]"

"U U U U U U An American's tile rack after a Scrabble game."

"I have a joke from Germany Just kidding, we have no sense of humor."

"I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight."

"How many jobs did Speaker Boehner create in the past 4 years as a Speaker? One, when he left."