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Joke of the Day

"I'm in a 12 step program for musical theatre addicts. I'm on step 5, 6, 7, and!"

"Do you know Andy Griffith's wife? OP's mom"

"What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend? I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain."

"Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of."

"So I studied abroad in college... She never called me back though."

"You are one well-defined function!"

"I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music... At first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading"

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"At what time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tenish."