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Joke of the Day

"To celebrate this Valentine's Day beat your wife... In a friendly race down to the mall."

"I got into a fight with my boner this morning: Don't worry, I beat it single handedly"

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Congress is like autocorrect It causes more problems then fixing them."

"MIND BLOWING SCIENCE FACT: 20% of all car crashes are actually battles between the Autobots and the Decepticons."

"I would tell you a pizza joke... ...but it's too cheesy."

"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."

"I used an emoticon with a nose once. It was stupid and embarrassing. I wouldn't recommend it."

"Billion dollar idea: war."

"I assume people who don't hate people also don't drive."