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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"Fun with wife A man has fun with his wife......."

"Q: You are traveling into the past, what one thing would you bring back? SEXY. I am so getting an A on this History paper."

"How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends what you want it to change into..."

"Brussel sprouts are like anal sex. If you were forced to have them against your will as a child, chances are you won't enjoy them as an adult."

"What kind of charge did the Couch place against the Recliner? Sectional assualt."

"My future is so bright I need to stay in my room browsing reddit until nightfall."

"First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second person: No. First person: Good!"

"Aragorn: If I can protect you, I will. You have my sword Legolas: And you have my bow Gimli: and my axe Steve: and my 439 Twitter followers"

"You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers.."