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Joke of the Day
"Knock, knock... Tim Buckt."
Next Joke
"I just got mistaken for an employee at a haunted house. Assume it's because I look authoritative not because I look like I'm wearing a mask."
"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing"
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when put in the oven."
"You know what they say about duct tape... It makes no..no..no sound like mh..mh..mh Credit to my coworker for that one."
"If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face."
"My brakes failed the other day And I got a crash course on Newton's first law"
"(Guy who was trapped in a well for 20 years standing in front of the Get Well Soon cards at the pharmacy, frowning)"
"Dad: Let's talk, we never talk. Me: Okay. I kinda wanna tell you something... Dad: You can tell me anything. Me: I'm Batman. Dad: Get out."
"I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband."