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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Let's talk, we never talk. Me: Okay. I kinda wanna tell you something... Dad: You can tell me anything. Me: I'm Batman. Dad: Get out."

"Why do people paint eggs for Easter? Bunnies squirm too much."

"What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?"

"I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 Cos 7 has Ebola."

"I'm not sexist.... because being sexist is wrong, and being wrong is for women."

"If a man's signature is called a ""John Hancock"" what do you call a woman's? Historically insignificant. Full disclosure: Heard on the radio this morning on my way to work."

"Im making a fortune promoting home security systems.All I do is say ""Hello"".At 3 in the morning sitting at the end of their bed."

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

"My house is so trashed that Whitney Houston just dropped by in her 1988 Ford Escort & gave me a high five & then she asked me for ten bucks."