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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband."

"if i told you you have a beautiful body.... would you hold it against me?"

"What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league? Rink injustice!"

"A priest checks into a Hyatt... A priest checks into a Hyatt. Asks the front desk, ""Is the porn channel disabled?"" Guy at the front desk replies, ""No, you sick fuck. It's regular porn."""

"I will not rest until I've finished this nap!"

"A man visits a prostitute The man says, ""I want to have sex with you for $200, but then I also want to hit you"" The prostitute asks, ""For how long?"" The man replies, ""Until I have my money back!"""

"Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry? Because it's always on a sundae!"

"Mosquitto and Blondes what's the difference between a Mosquitto and a blonde? A Mosquitto stops sucking when you slap it !"

"Optimism I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist. I just don't have a whole lot to work with."

"What's the difference between a woman and a video game? I don't get an erection when I beat a video game."