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Joke of the Day

"I feel like my rear end turns into Billy Mayes whenever I get diarrhea... ""Butt wait, there's more!"""

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"I'm in a band called ""Stuck In The Fucking Departure Lounge!"" Check us out!"
"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter because he's not coming"
"Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because there is a target on every corner."
"[courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*"
"Can you believe they got back together after all that shit? MY BUTT CHEEKS!!!"
"Watched the new Star Wars movie at an outdoor theater..... Watched the new Star Wars movie at an outdoor theater after dusk. It was a Jedi night."
"What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?"
"My friend didn't understand my poorly timed holocaust joke. So he asks me, ""What's a holocaust?"" And I reply ""Oh, about eleven million"""
"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."
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