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Joke of the Day

"*leaves one gummy bear in the packet* i'm letting you live so you can go back to your king and tell him to send the rest of his troops"

"Make sure you always tip the people who make your pizza... They knead the dough."

"On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? 0"

"""I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service."" ""Dude this isn't email I'm standing in front of you."""

"Jesus Sure jesus fed 2000 people with fish, but hitler made 6million jews toast."

"What is the advantage that Mexican workers have over everyone else? Their ""Senor""ity!"

"Why was a 9 year old allowed on a shooting range. In my school yoyo's were banned after Jenny got a black eye doing an 'Around the World'"

"Look, this is the only body I'll ever have and that is why I'm covering it in a thick layer of fat to protect it."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."