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Joke of the Day
"Listening to music can be dangerous... Some of the notes are sharp."
Next Joke
"What does daenerys give to tyrion? A hand job"
"What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween? I'll be Bach."
"I saw a sign in the book store labelled ""Christian Fiction"" I think we all know where I'm going with this.."
"A driver was so focused on being upset I was texting while driving... They rear ended the car ahead of them. I guess texting while driving is distracting."
"You're more likely to find something when you're not looking for it. Right now, I'm not looking for a bunch of cash. I hope this shit works."
"911 what's the emergency? ""How do u unburn pizza?"" U burnt a pizza ""Yes"" I'll send a squad car ""Ok will they help?"" No ur under arrest"
"[hears a baby crying on the train] Can somebody put that thing on silence please? ""It's a baby.."" ... ""..."" Vibrate?"
"My neighbor just died of an overdose. He forgot to take his homeopathic sleeping pills."
"can you guys help me find an AC/DC song? it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks! *stolen from RYM*"