30112

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk guy."

"I've adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight."

"Breaking news: A helicopter has crash landed into a cemetery in Ireland The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies."

"Short-sighted sarge: ""Attention! You also you little one in the back row with the red cap!"" ""But sarge that's a hydrant!"" Sarge:""Anyway in this place academics have to obey as well."""

"A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study."

"Doctor: Sir, I have two bad news for you The first is that you have 48 hours before you die -And the second one? :'( I should have told you yesterday"

"""We need to kill the terrorist NOW"" But how.. ""The human body is 70% water"" Jesus, you know what to do *terrorist dies of alcohol poisoning*"

"My girlfriend keeps complaining that nothing in this sub is funny She'll NEVER see this line because she doesn't open them."

"Clean joke about sorority girls Why do sorority girls only travel in odd numbered groups? Because they *can't even*!"

"Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation"