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Joke of the Day

"Peanut Butter So I was balls deep in peanut butter, and I thought to myself, ""Peanut Butter's a weird name for a dog, isn't it?"""

"What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday? ""You have to love easter, baby."" (OC)"

"MIGRATING BIRDS Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."

"I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out."

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"My wife's got that good at bonsai, we're having to move to a house with a smaller garden."

"What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times? A yellow license plate."

"I don't mean to brag, but I just ate a sandwich without taking a picture if it first."

"While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective weapon against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?"

"The best way to get over someone is probably with your vehicle"