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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine"

"What do you guys think of message boards? ....I'm all forum."

"Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead."

"today, i learned that ""Donald Trump"" is an anagram of ""Tan Dump Lord"" ...it's like his parents knew all along"

"If it was Raining Men I doubt anyone'd say Hallelujah. Pretty sure people'd be screaming things like, ""Augh! That guy just killed my mom!"""

"[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*"

"Why does the dyslexic Spanish speaker have a poor self image? His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of cabron."

"Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon."

"WARNING ! ! ! This is a VIRUS . . . When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN.. U are a BITCH Beautiful Intelligent Talented Cute Hilarious r u smiling now? ? ? ? *YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*"

"This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas"