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Joke of the Day

"I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane."

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"What did the nihilist wish for on his birthday?"

"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

"What do you call a group of crows? The end of season 5."

"*puts up baby gates all around the outside of my house* There. That should keep 'em out."

"girl you're like the water in flint, michigan you quench my thirst but i know you'll slowly kill me"

"How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"I'm tired of people ripping on calculus all the time. It derives me crazy."

"Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?"