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Joke of the Day

"Two Goldfish are in a tank and one says to the other, you drive, I'll fire the gun"

"Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team? Because then Dallas would want one too."

"When I was born I was given two choices: The first was to have a perfect memory, and the other was to have a huge penis. Unfortunately, I can't remember which one I chose."

"If Elsa could bring snow to life why didn't she make herself some pets? I'd have like 50 snowcats by now."

"Due to my lack of sexual experience... I prematurely ejaculate every time I watch a baseball game."

"A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable I said not nessacelery"

"What do you call a black dinosaur? TYRONE-ASAURUS REX! I made this joke up in like middle school I think."

"I may have to divorce my wife... My son broke both his arms today."

"One crazy fantasy I have is having any energy to do things after work."

"I heard that the factories in China will be close until the next GOP president. A liberal joke"