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Joke of the Day

"*finally detangles ear buds *plane lands"

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"Every thousand years the long rain comes... And with it come the wet walkers..."
"Why don't chickens have lips? Because then they'd have soft peckers"
"""Excuse me sir, but there's a Bohemian knight here to collect his fee."" ""Tell him the check is in the mail."""
"What is worse than dying in a mass shooting in America? Your dad finding out you're gay."
"What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous"
"I've always wanted to be in a circle jerk, but nobody else was interested... So I started cloning myself, and now I've come full circle!"
"I grew up poor . The end of the month was difficult money wise especially the 30 last days."
"I've been messing about with my ouija board and i asked it if i was gonna get laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding between the H and the A. It's been half an hour now...."
"On sunday remember to turn your clocks back an hour And on tuesday vote Trump to set our country back 60 years."