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Joke of the Day

"where does a queer download his illegal software from? pirategay"

"We were so satisfied with the year 2015 so we decided to hold out on 2016 and instead call it 2015*s+*"

"Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming ""I'M GONNA CRUMB"" because I have something wrong with me"

"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."

"i'm a homewrecker in the sense that i got sick out both ends in the attic and it soaked through the ceiling in 3 different rooms"

"What is a mathematicians favorite Eagles song? Take it to the limit. RIP Glenn Frey"

"People say you can't compare apples to oranges... ... always seemed like a fruitful comparison to me though."

"me: trump is a thin skinned psychopath who will destroy the world at the slightest provocation also me: let's make him mad lol"

"How do you stretch your back? ""I don't know."" **shrugs*"

"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"