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Joke of the Day
"You know what is blown out of proportions? Overweight suicide bombers."
Next Joke
"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"
"Why did ranch break up with chicken wings? Because he blue cheese..."
"After today the rest of the world will get ""FOUR MORE YEARS!"" without having to hear about the US election."
"A doctor reaches in his jacket for a pen.... and pulls out a thermometer. ""Oh great, some asshole's got my pen!"""
"Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? He had his own frog-horn."
"What's the best part of being a lesbian in 1912? Both got seats on the titanic's lifeboats."
"Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. ""Is that good?"" No one will make eye contact with me."
"When I die I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time."
"Another shitty joke Don't mistake me for a fool! I'm just a half."