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Joke of the Day

"Another shitty joke Don't mistake me for a fool! I'm just a half."

"The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime!"

"I tried talking with a midget in prison uniform going down an elevator... But he was a little condescending."

"What's the difference.... What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in the fog? At least when you're eating pussy, you can see the asshole in front of you."

"Did anybody else see the lunar eclipse tonight? I looked, but I couldn't see it."

"While driving, I hit a car driven by a little person. He ran up to me and said ""Hey asshole! I'm not happy!"", to which I replied.... ....""So which one *are* you then? """

"I told my friend I made $600 a month selling dog shit He said: ""That's gross!"" I said: ""No, that's net."""

"What's the difference between a penis and a Christmas present? You wrap the present *after* you put it in the box."

"A woman walks into a bar. What makes you think she can drive any better?"

"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."