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Joke of the Day
"Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries? Traitor Joe's."
Next Joke
"What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car? Sewed him"
"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates? Because he's married."
"Sorry I started singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the accountability meeting, but you said ""easy come, easy go"" so I just ran with it.."
"Italian moms vs. Jewish moms At dinner the Italian mom says to their children, ""eat..eat.. or I'll kill you!"" Where as the Jewish mom says, ""eat... eat.. or I'll kill myself!"""
"Great Gatsby (2013), Wolf of Wallstreet (2013), Django Unchained (2012): Leonardo DiCaprio is rich and screams at people"
"Don't save a spot for someone who won't make an effort to stay."
"My orange tabby tried to convince me he was a big cat today I don't believe him since he's known for lion."
"I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, ""helium."" Also, my friend is a balloon."
"Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don't ask my wife.)"