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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates? Because he's married."

"Why don't you give a college kid fried chicken? Because their too hopped up on crack and politics to have an appetite."

"i hav cat-like reflexes ""prove it"" *looks at a cat* (instantly) i like that cat"

"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"

"Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?"

"Sometimes when I cum, I scream really loudly because people should knock before opening a bathroom stall."

"What a coincidence. My state of the unit address focuses on jobs as well."

"""operation"" A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"

"What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger? Toot uncommon"

"We now have TWO Wawa's by the interstate. The one on the east side of I4 is not so bad. But the other one, whoa. It's the Wawa West over there."