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Joke of the Day

"House Hunters: ""We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown."" Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? ""haha no"" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*"

"Mommy! The boys at school pay me to climb trees! ""Honey, they only want you to do that so they can see your panties!"" Yeah, I know, that's why I take them off."

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you."

"""Jess is coming over"" ""Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-"" *Gets stabbed to death* ""Yes"""

"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."

"(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard? Cuz everyone was dying to get in."

"I'm so bad at making decisions that whenever I hit a yellow light I scream, open my car door and throw myself out"

"My dad always warned me about anal. He said ""Son, this is going to hurt."""

"What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called? A Yutopia"

"What do you call a prostitue from Maui? ""Hana Ho"""