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Joke of the Day

"I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things."

"What's worse than finding hair in your food? Finding out the chef is bald."

"""Look guide here are some LION tracks."" ""Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."""

"To: ALL STAFF Subject: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: How to Effectively Use the E-Mail Subject Line"

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana."

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"I'm reading a book on evolution... The beginning wasn't great, but it's getting better over time."

"What's fatter than your mom? Your mom after her next meal."

"Do you know why you will never go hungry in the desert? Because of the sand which is there. *edit: because of the sandwiches there....."