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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat? ...Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat."

"Got my hair done again. I'm so blonde now I can barely spell my last name."

"What do tornadoes and redneck divorces have in common? ... Either way, someone is going to end up losing a trailer."

"[Crate and Barrel job interview] ""So why do you want to work here?"" DONKEY KONG [sweating]: I love interior design"

"I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it."

"Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful? Because they were set in stone."

"What's a zombie's morning routine? Shit, shower, grave."

"What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes."

"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"

"How do you show your appreciation towards black holes? Thanks for nothing!"