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Joke of the Day

"Got my hair done again. I'm so blonde now I can barely spell my last name."

"What do programmers hate more than fat women? Fat fingers"

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country."

"If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me."

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days..."

"Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there."

"Rest in peace boiled water You will be mist."

"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."

"Is as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn."