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Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs too much!"

"I'm in so much trouble. My twitter crush found out about my boyfriend and now they're both on their way to tell my husbands."

"The cleaning lady refused to mop or sweep ""Floors are beneath me"" she explained."

"Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it."

"International women's day"

"Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, ""the ablest person I've ever worked with."" Well, I can see why he's a hit with the ladies."

"Something good did come out of last night: I talked to my mom and my fiancee on the phone while they were crying- and it wasn't about something I'd done!"

"I read an article about the dangers of heavy drinking the other day, and it really scared me! So that's it... Starting today, no more reading."

"In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells ""behavior"", ""color"", and ""humor"" the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that's why!"

"What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record."