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Joke of the Day

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"What ""D"" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ? Blon-D"

"A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person."

"Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless"

"My neighbor said the next time he comes over he's bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn't wait and then I burned my house down."

"""Sir, it appears the bomb was hidden in the Japanese man's beer!"" ""Looks like the killer... BREW his mind."""

"Poop When you say the word ""poop"" you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Same with diarrhea."

"There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys ""as a joke."""

"So I heard that Paul Walker, actor in Fast and Furious, died at the age of 40 in a car crash. I suppose he had bad *karma*"

"I had to fire my driver today So now I have all this money, and nothing to chauffeur it."